It's been pretty cold here in Copenhagen. With practically no snow and high level of humidity the cold creeps inside the body and stays there for most part of the day. I found solution by consuming lots of chai latter with chilly throughout the day (all at the same place, the cozy café Kalaset on Vendersgade 16)that I warmly recommend.
I arrived at the Cuddle Party i Copenhagen shuddering and since the room was not used during the Christmas holidays it was cold inside too. During the Welcome circle I had to cover myself with blankets and when the freestyle cuddlying at last started tried to keep close to others. Others, it seemed, had the same strategy and pretty soon we ended up in a circle or a pile, where you could not easily identify the owner of the particular limb sticking out from underneath the pillows and covers. It reminded me of how on cold mornings when a commuter train was late people would gather in the tiny building of the train station and form a circle. Everyone would be looking at the screen with the time table hoping to see some new information about the arrival of the train but I suspect they just wanted to be closer to one another and get warmer, pretty much like penguins do!
Towards the end we did an exercise that both energised us and allowed us to connect with a child inside us, the one I call "Rolling for peace and freedom". Naturally, you can just roll but if we do something anyways, why not dedicate the activity to something meaningful to you?
Rolling for peace and freedom, Cuddle Party, Copenhagen Jan 3, 2010
More contact exercises and games
Wednesday, 16 December 2009 14:07
The feedback from our FTCs (First Time Cuddlers) has been very positive but as Suzuki Roshi is reputed to have said, "You are perfect and you need some improvement". :-) While the few days after the first event were spent basking in this idea of perfection, I soon started looking for the ways in which Cuddle Party could offer even more and be more fun. For example, some people wished for more exercises involving touch to ease us into cuddlying and we have been listening.
I had a very energising and inspiring conversation with my Cuddle Party trainer and with another facilitator in training where we came up with a few (non-competative) games involving touch. Also, my esteemed Cuddle Party assistant who has done a lot of embodied practices suggested a few exercises from biodance and those could easily be adopted for a Cuddle Party format.
So at the next Cuddle Party we will be offering a few of those, both with a single partner and the whole group. I cannot wait to try out those myself!
First Cuddle Party a heartfelt experience
Tuesday, 01 December 2009 09:33
Last Saturday (November 28) we had our very first official (Review) Cuddle Party on the east coast of Sweden here in Uppsala. Needless to say, I was somewhat nervous but reminding myself of the intention to help others co-create a wonderful and heartfelt experience kept the usual in such cases anxiety at bay.
To be honest, facilitating this Cuddle Party was easy and enjoyable just as eating one of those blueberry muffins that were so appreciated. People of different ages, from different paths of life and cultures, showed up curious and open for this new experience.
I can imagine that doing it in familiar surroundings and with the people most of whom I know and who were determined to have a wonderful experience and to support me, is altogether a different thing than facilitating with a group of strangers. The people I didn't know I met in person before or spoke on the phone with a few times. However, they were strangers to one another if only for a very short while. I was moved by how fast we all became sort of a family for the evening. None of us knew what it would be like, what this particular event would lead to but were willing to step outside the comfort zone and meet the unknown because curiosity and openness were stronger. I was also reminded of how we all can become co-creators of our individual and collective experience by actively engaging with what arises in ourselves (emotions of different kind, thoughts, desires) and allowing others to do the same and Cuddle Party offers a great opportunity for exploring this.
Be with those who help your being. Don't sit with indifferent people, whose breath comes cold out of their mouths. Not these visible forms, your work is deeper.
- Rumi
It was inspiring and touching to see how people who were relative strangers to each other just an hour ago cared for one another so much. Because of this harmony in the group I did not get or rather did not take the opportunity to practice saying no (although we did that in the workshop part, as an exercise) as much as I’d hoped I would. While preparing the event and inviting people most of whom I knew I received quite a few nos and most of them came from the people I’d hoped would say yes. This was my chance to practice the guidelines of Cuddle Party to create space for an authentic and powerful answer, whatever that could be and not to take no personally. So while I could benefit from practising to say no (hear myself say it looking the other person in the eye and letting them take care of their own feelings) as well as receive it, for that particular event I chose to go with the flow and receive yes for a change since this is what I needed at the time. For the next event I might set a different intention depending where I am at.
Likewise, during the preparation stage, I got a few maybes when people actually meant no but did not voice it like that for one reason or another and let me hang in the air uncertain if I should contact them again or not. One of my favourite guidelines at a Cuddle Party - "when you are a maybe say no" followed by "You are encouraged to change your mind" – is something I would really want to see more of in our society and in all our daily interactions. This would save us all time and energy and give us more choice.
On the bonus side decorating the space for this event gave me new ideas as to what my living room could look like so that I would want to use it for my own relaxation and having friends over.
Sunday I declared to be my alone day and spent it watching films and drinking tea in my very own chill area, breathing out - a bliss. Am now processing the experience and charging for the Cuddle Parties to come. Look forward to connecting - many hearts, shared journey!
How I became a "cuddle monster"
Wednesday, 14 October 2009 13:09
Done with the Facilitation training and am on my way to getting certified as a Cuddle Party Facilitator. This too seems to be like quite a lot of work.
I get questions as to how I got into this Cuddle Party business to begin with. To put it shortly, I heard Reid Mihalsko, one of the founders of Cuddle Party, giving interview on Just for Women and what he said about the assumptions our society has about men and women resonated with me. Our culture has this strange idea that aduls cannot control their sexual drives and that touch is only possible in the context of family or romantic relationships which as I know from my own experience is absolutely not true. The whole idea of a Cuddle Party as a place for strangers (and non-strangers) to meet to get their cuddlying needs satisfied did strike me as rather bizarr at the beginning. Would someone really want to come and join a bunch of strangers and be so open that they would be willing to hug them and be hugged? How is it possible to create a safe space for this kind of event? I had lots of questions but I also knew that we need to start somewhere and that I definately wanted to get a first hand experience before coming to conclusions. So I went to the Cuddle Party in Copenhagen and was both inspired and moved by the openness we as a group created in just a couple of hours. I would most likely not see those people again but I carried the warmth of that meeting with me for a long time and I definately felt energised and appreciated for who I was. I also knew I would want to experience this again so I had to make sure we would have Cuddle Party closer to home and this is how it started.
Millions and millions of years would still not give me half enough time to describe that tiny instant of all eternity when you put your arms around me and I put my arms around you.
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